Lone Star Democracy Builders Association

I am practically incapable of talking about politics with anyone who does not already agree with me.

I know quite a few people who vote Republican. Most of them are family. I should be able to calmly and cheerfully explain to them why I vote Democratic, what Democrats stand for, and why the state and the nation would be better off if they followed my example.

But I can't. When it's family, I get anxious and angry and defensive. I usually retreat and pretend it isn't happening, or I make one or two challenging statements and then ignore the conversation. Or worse, find myself trying to agree with something they're saying so we can put down the conversation on a positive note and I can calm down. When it's friends, I just smile and make noncommittal statements.

All this even though I have it easy compared to some of my friends. At least no one I know listens to Rush Limbaugh!

Since I have difficulty with the talking part, I've decided to start by listening. The last weekend of October is the International Quilt Festival in Houston, Texas. My parents live there, and I will be going to stay with them for the weekend. I am going to ask each of them to sit down with me and answer a few questions about their political views. (I'm also going to try perceiving my dad as a complex person for the sake of this attempt, rather than writing him off as a knee-jerk Republican.) Then, I'm going to go over it while I'm not in the middle of the situation and see if I can figure out their core beliefs or frames or what have you. The research design is still in progress. ;)

After that, I'm going to go back and talk to them again, but I'm trying not to think about that part yet.

To give you an idea of who I'm dealing with:

My mother is a devout Methodist Christian who has traditionally voted Republican but considers herself an Independent. I have reason to believe that she voted for Kerry. She was very worried about the impression that George W. Bush has given the world with the War on Iraq. Her Christianity tends to express itself more in the "help the poor" mode than the judgmental mode, and she got involved for a while in a church-based effort to assess the damage that Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) cuts were doing to children in Houston. She is offended by churches that make it hard for gay Christians to worship, and by the young rich families in her congregation who seem to truly believe everything is fine as long as they have what they want.

My father is a devout believer in "bootstraps make it possible." However, he reads a lot about urban development and knows the history of redlining, racial segregation, de-industrialization, and suburbanization that have afflicted many cities - and he doesn't dismiss it outright as irrelevant to the residents' condition. But also, in his oft-stated opinion, the hippies ruined everything in America. He was deeply upset about the attack in New York City, as he used to live there and is still in love with the city in many ways, but he also was deeply upset by the start of the war. He doesn't believe corporations have any obligations to help people (such as those with AIDS in Africa, which never should have come up at Easter dinner). He believes that if you are caught by the police, it's your job to prove you aren't guilty. Last time I saw him, he also said Ken Lay should be executed.

My mother reports that he went outside and hung up an American flag when George W. was declared the winner in the next presidential election. She got him to take it down before I got home. I think she believed I'd pick a fight with him about it. Hello, that's so 15 years ago!

I'm brainstorming questions for them:

• What do you think government is for?
• What do you think of politicians in general?
• What do you think of President Bush?
• What's wrong with the national media? Was it always that way?

Additional question I have for my mother: What has made you vote for Democrats when you've done so?

Additional questions I have for my father: What is the problem with energy, and what are the solutions? (He worked for an oil company for a couple of decades.) What did you see happen during the 60's that changed society?

Please let me know in the comments if you have other questions I could ask. I don't want to hold them hostage for 2 hours apiece, but y'all might have some better ideas.